Are you holding on to a grudge? Are you waiting on a apology before you forgive? Have you said youv'e forgiven but get fired up/ bring the topic up in conversations? We need to forgive because if we don't it will hurt us.
Lets look at this parable Jesus tells us.
Matthew 18:21-27
"21 Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?22 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.23 Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt."
Peter asked how often are we are to forgive and Jesus responds, basically saying, keep forgiving continually. He goes on to say the kingdom of heaven is as a king taking account of his servants. This parable talks about a servant who owed a debt and did not have the money to pay it off. Well the fair thing for the king to do is sell what the servant has until the debt is paid off. But the king decides to have compassion and forgive him of the debt. What is forgiveness? Forgiveness according to Webster Dictionary is "to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) or to grant relief from payment of ".
Now lets read the next part of the parable:
Matthew 18:28-30
"But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt."
Now look at this! Doesn't this sound a bit absurd? This servant who was forgiven his debt, turns around and throws another man in jail because he can't pay a debt. Wouldn't you think that servant should show the same compassion and mercy he was shown for his debt? Now compare that to your life. Haven't we all been that servant? The wages of sin is death (Romans 6:23), but Jesus died for us so that that debt is no longer over us. So if somebody does something to us wether you consider it small or large, we are to forgive them.
Part 3 of the parable:
Matthew 18:31-34
31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.
Whoa! The servant was delivered to the tormentors because he could not forgive just as he was forgiven. This king takes forgiveness very seriously. He feels if I am forgiving you for a debt then it makes sense that you should forgive others as well. The servant felt like he deserved the forgiveness but once he was owed he wanted the payment. Lets compare this to life. You saying a person doesn't deserve your forgiveness is basically saying Jesus' death was enough for my wrong doings but another person wronging me requires more than Jesus' death to be forgiven. Isn't that crazy? How dare we suggest that Jesus' death is not enough for anyone doing a wrong against yourself. I feel that is basically spitting in God's face "saying your sons death is not enough".
Jesus ends with this:
Matthew 8:35
35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
I feel like this parable and this last verse shows just how serious the Father takes unforgiveness. This verse tells us the Father will do just as the king did to the servant. What did the king do? allow the servant to be tormented. God will let you be tormented until you decide to forgive. This just doesn't mean saying you forgive a person, but truly in your heart forgiving. We will be forgiven our trespasses as we forgive other their trespasses.(Matthew6:14-15). Now Im not saying forgiving is quick and easy. But if you are holding on to something, then it will only hinder you. You need to allow God to work on you so that you can forgive.
~Lord, I come to you today asking you to search my heart. If there is anyone I haven't forgiven show it to me Lord and give me the heart to forgive. I don't want to hold onto any grudges or wrongdoings against me. Because God, you sent your son to die for us so that we may be saved, His death is enough. Thank you for all you have done in my life. In Jesus name. AMEN.